Note: this post was published almost three years ago, and has been the singular most popular piece on this blog, much to the dismay of the brilliant political and social analysis, not to mention the stunning short stories also on the blog. Since the piece was published, yours truly has developed even greater techniques for killing these disgusting pests, and since the world loves my writing on lubbers, I’ve updated the piece. Read the second paragraph below to learn my newest technique for killing lubbers.
The delightful creature above is a Florida lubber, a disgusting-looking member of the grasshopper family. They love to destroy thicker-leaved plants. I have found them on citrus trees, Ti plants, bushes and shrubs. This one was clinging to a sampaguita (jasmine) plant, not especially thick-leaved. These guys are really hard to kill; I do not use chemical pesticides, and even if one does, they have to spray it directly on the lubber. Fortunately they are relatively few in number. I tried organic products that made everything smell like a pizza and kept them away temporarily. I found another organic spray that weakens them enough to knock them off their perch-they cling like nothing I’ve ever seen- and then smash it to smithereens. No mercy for these guys.
UPDATED TECHNIQUE
Since this post was published, I have continued to kill lubbers at every opportunity. I conduct visual inspections of all bushes and plants they are known to favor, generally broader-leafed plants, but they can pop up anywhere.
The new technique is to use a pair of garden shears, the bigger you can handle, the more effective. These creatures are slow-moving and if you catch them between the blades of the shears, you can usually pull them from the plant and cut them to pieces. If the plant’s branches are strong enough, you can apply the right amount of pressure on the shears and sever them while on the plant. It’s a good idea to ct them into as many pieces as you can, to make sure one doesn’t get away with a wound but still able able to feast on your plants.
As long as lubbers plague us, I’ll be looking for new ways to kill them!
DON’T FORGET, I’M A WRITER, NOT A FIGHTER!
When I’m not writing about killing lubbers, I’m writing thrillers where bad guys kill people, some deserving, others not. If you are interested in the Mafia and crime fiction, read my two most recent books: Bangkok Shadows and Queensborough Rock.
You can check them out below and purchase them if you like. They are also available on KU.
Better looking than any lubber, right?
If you squash a lubber and you see orange jell fall out, be sure to clean it up. The jell is full of eggs which will hatch shortly to provide a full batch of young black lubbers. These are a hungry bunch that will feed on everything in sight.
Thamks for the advice!
I am looking for a way to kill these nasty pest, does anyone have a recommendation? I have been chasing them for many summers now. Thank you, B. Berry
Someone on another site suggested knocking picking them off with gloves and putting into a bowl with a lid and put them into the freezer for an hour. then make another sweep of the plant to get any that were missed.